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Lenae’s Story

March 02, 2018
in Testimonies

People talk about have an ‘encounter’ with God, or a moment of suddenly deciding and giving their life to Jesus. But I don’t remember a specific moment. It seems more like at some point I jumped on the end carriage of a train, and SLOWLY worked my way up the carriages to reach the front, where I found that I was already very familiar with the train conductor and that he had been with me – guiding me – the entire journey.

I was raised in a very loving non-christian family, who put me into a christian school. Here my parents unknowingly bought my ticket to catch the train.

During highschool I really struggled with bullying, I struggled to keep up in class (ADHD) and even struggled with my sexuality at one point. I ended up feeling very lonely, angry and had panic attacks daily. By the time I was 15, I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts.

One day my best friend Sarah (who at the time was the only person who knew what I was struggling with) invited me to her youth group at Kingsley. I will be forever grateful for this simple invitation.

At youth I found a bunch of kids who accepted me and loved me for me. They showed me so much grace and seemed to genuinely care about me. I realised they had something I didn’t, something that made them happy (even when they had some tough times), and something that made them so welcoming and gracious. I decided I wanted what they had, I wanted to feel that joy too.

The first service I ever went to was a baptism and when I entered so many people hugged me. They made me feel valued, people were excited to see me. Over the years after this it became a slow maturing of my faith & journey with Him.

As I say I can’t pin-point a moment of ‘meeting’ God. I just discovered over time that He had journeyed through my life with me, telling me He loved me, yearning for me to notice Him. Now that I see that, I don’t think I can ever un-see that. Now I feel loved, I feel whole, and I see value in myself that I didn’t see before. I must be pretty valuable if Jesus died for me!